The Football Neutral: Matches Twenty Five and Twenty Six: Leicester City vs QPR and Bolton Wanderers vs Leicester City

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This is now an edited version of the original blog… you can read the full one by downloading my Football Neutral 2013/14 season review on Kindle.  Well over 300 pages of daftness. Less than £2! Thanks!

…A wise man once said that rules are meant to be broken.  I’d quite like to buy that man a drink right now.  No idea who said it first, but whoever it was has given me a very easy opening line for two match reports that contain a contentious subject, if you’ve been following my exploits all season.

So yeah, when I started this project I decided that I wouldn’t go and watch my own club all year.  I’d focus on going to new places, meeting different fans and enjoying the best game in the world whilst on the road doing my job.  And for twenty four games, that’s what I did.  Yes, I sneakily watched a League Cup game from the press box earlier in the year but I didn’t write a report on it.  But then this past weekend I was in Birmingham and… I just couldn’t help myself.  I’m sorry.  I really am.

Actually, it’s not just as simple as geographic proximity.  I’m not sure whether regular readers will just understand my desire to watch my own club because they feel a similar love for their own team, or if some people will be genuinely annoyed that I’ve fallen off the proverbial wagon.  So let me fill you in on some details that you might have missed during the season.

I’ve had a difficult year.  Work has been fine and I’ve got married (yay to both of these things) but at the very start of the season my Mum was taken ill and as you may be aware, she passed away in February.  Her funeral was in March, and at the funeral to cheer me and my Dad up my mate Big Dave (everyone has a mate called Big Dave, and I am no exception. His name is not ironic. He’s a big lad, and bloody awesome) suggested that we all go to watch Leicester play over the Easter weekend.  As I knew I would be in Birmingham, I agreed after explaining that I would be breaking my own rules.  Dave then pointed out that it would probably be the day we clinched promotion.  This in turn clinched it for me…

If you want to read the full version of the final two match reports of the season, you can (along with every other game I watched and lots more stuff) by downloading my ebook for less than £2. All sales really help me continue on with my project. Thanks!

 

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The Football Neutral: Match Nine – AFC Bournemouth vs Bolton Wanderers

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(Note – I for some reason didn’t take any pictures during the game, so above is a stock photo of Dean Court)

This is now an edited version of the original blog… you can read the full one by downloading my Football Neutral 2013/14 season review on Kindle.  Well over 300 pages of daftness. Less than £2! Thanks!

…A two hour journey took three.  As I got closer to Bournemouth my car’s diesel tank decided to all of a sudden stop being economical (possibly aided by my less than legal speeds) and I had to stop to refuel as the clock ticked away.  I sense I may have irritated the guy in the petrol station somewhere in the depths of the New Forest as I rudely interrupted his conversation with his mate about rabbits.  Am I the only person who ever needs to get somewhere?

My sat nav then took me to a street that clearly did not contain Dean Court.  It contained brand new houses.  Then putting in the EXACT SAME destination actually took me to the right place.  I had been warned that it may be slightly tricky to park at the ground.  These people certainly did not lie.  Two car parks were full as 3pm ticked around.  Every available spot of grass was full up.  Every single yard of double yellow line had a car on it.  This was quite maddening.  Which is a massive understatement, bearing in mind how much swearing was going on within the car at the time.

I found a space on a backstreet somewhere and ran.  I have not run as fast in a long time, and as I got around half a mile away from my car I realised that I had forgotten to note down exactly where I’d parked.  And when I say “parked”, I mean “dumped my Ford Fiesta somewhere next to a kerb and probably didn’t lock it”.

I had to run across a park on my way to the ground, sprinting past a man in a suit doing the same.  He was wearing shoes and slipped on the wet grass.  He didn’t go down, but it did make me amend my stride.  Couldn’t exactly turn up for my gig that night covered in mud.

I had to pick up my ticket from the office, and was relieved to see that I wasn’t the only person to be so late for the game.  As discussed at length previously, I hate being late for anything, and I was busy checking the score as I waited in line.

Was then a quick walk to the turnstiles past the club shop.  I’ll say this:  Bournemouth have some seriously attractive looking merchandise.  I had read that they play in black and red stripes to echo AC Milan, but everyone I saw who was wearing official club gear looked really well turned out.  Plus it was seriously cold (despite my run) so I was almost tempted to buy myself a coat.

The turnstiles were closed.  Sensing another Guiseley experience of having to seek out someone to let me in, I bumped into one of the nicest stewards I’d ever met, a man mountain who looked like the double of Hightower from the Police Academy movies.  He checked my ticket, let me in a side door and before I knew it I was in my seat….

Liked this little highlight of the full report?  Get the full match report and loads more by clicking here and downloading my ebook for Kindle for less than £2.  You’d really be helping support my adventures!  Ta!