…When you’re used to travelling to games on your own, it’s really enjoyable to head off to a match with a couple of mates. Our journey from Nottingham to Mansfield didn’t take too long as it’s just a few miles north. The car was filled with talk of comedy – The Noise Next Door had a great Edinburgh and are on tour soon – and at one point we spotted a tent at the side of the road, pitched as if someone is living in it on a permanent basis. I was very tempted to stop and have a look, but what do you say if someone is actually in there? It’s a weird way to start a conversation.
Once in Mansfield we parked up and walked along to Field Mill (now renamed as the One Call Stadium) and had a little wander around the outside. As we walked down the street that we’d parked on, Tom managed to find a discarded blade of some sort on the floor and we speculated how it got there – obviously the answer won’t be as fantastical as the suggestions that we came up with. The away end at Field Mill sticks out into a retail park that has my ideal day out with my daughter summed up in two shops: Maplins for me (I like looking at electronics and making plans for projects that I will never construct) with Pets at Home next door (so my daughter can go and look at fish and hamsters). Underneath the far side of that end was a mattress, suggesting that someone lives there on a semi-permanent basis. If we’d have known, we could have stole him a tent. Whoever it belonged to had popped out for the day, a good idea as the Burton fans (who were superb throughout) would have kept him awake with their noise if he fancied a nap.
If you’re a comedian, you pride yourself on knowing every single comedy club in the country. Well at Mansfield, the three of us discovered a new one: The excellently named “Hoofers” that has nights within Field Mill. However, they are paying the Peter Kay IMPERSONATOR (yes, that’s right: A man who DOES ANOTHER MAN’S ACT) Lee Lard to perform there this festive season.
At least you get cheesecake, I suppose. But he’s more expensive than a Michael Buble tribute with a three course dinner! And it’s not like you won’t know all of his jokes! Madness…
What the hell is chewing cum?