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…When you’re used to travelling to games on your own, it’s really enjoyable to head off to a match with a couple of mates. Our journey from Nottingham to Mansfield didn’t take too long as it’s just a few miles north. The car was filled with talk of comedy – The Noise Next Door had a great Edinburgh and are on tour soon – and at one point we spotted a tent at the side of the road, pitched as if someone is living in it on a permanent basis. I was very tempted to stop and have a look, but what do you say if someone is actually in there? It’s a weird way to start a conversation.
Once in Mansfield we parked up and walked along to Field Mill (now renamed as the One Call Stadium) and had a little wander around the outside. As we walked down the street that we’d parked on, Tom managed to find a discarded blade of some sort on the floor and we speculated how it got there – obviously the answer won’t be as fantastical as the suggestions that we came up with. The away end at Field Mill sticks out into a retail park that has my ideal day out with my daughter summed up in two shops: Maplins for me (I like looking at electronics and making plans for projects that I will never construct) with Pets at Home next door (so my daughter can go and look at fish and hamsters). Underneath the far side of that end was a mattress, suggesting that someone lives there on a semi-permanent basis. If we’d have known, we could have stole him a tent. Whoever it belonged to had popped out for the day, a good idea as the Burton fans (who were superb throughout) would have kept him awake with their noise if he fancied a nap.
If you’re a comedian, you pride yourself on knowing every single comedy club in the country. Well at Mansfield, the three of us discovered a new one: The excellently named “Hoofers” that has nights within Field Mill. However, they are paying the Peter Kay IMPERSONATOR (yes, that’s right: A man who DOES ANOTHER MAN’S ACT) Lee Lard to perform there this festive season.
At least you get cheesecake, I suppose. But he’s more expensive than a Michael Buble tribute with a three course dinner! And it’s not like you won’t know all of his jokes! Madness…
The only way to read this post from last season in full (along with 23 others and a load of extra stuff) is to get my eBook for less than £3. Click here to get it. I’d be really grateful!
One thought on “The Football Neutral: Match Thirty – Mansfield Town vs Burton Albion”
What the hell is chewing cum?